


A Series of Firsts

by redorbit



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I hate writers block smh, Soulmate line, Soulmates, finally writing something JFC, hyewon, yermhyewon are my literal babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-11-07 00:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17950193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redorbit/pseuds/redorbit
Summary: A concept of soulmates that I've held true to is that it transcends the physicality and mortality of normal, everyday love. It isn't merely love per se; more so a bond that cannot be broken simply.This is a story of two such individuals.This is Hyewon throughout the years.





	1. First Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> There's been a drought of Hyewon fics lately so I'm doing this as a favour for myself and fellow Hyewonators out there.

 

Swish. Swish.

 

The sound of Hyejoo's brush moving deftly against the canvas her art teacher, Miss Lee, had given her gave her a sense of contentment and ease; it didn't matter that what she was painting didn't make any sense, coming close to being a jumbled mess of random colours. Anything to keep her mind off of the fact that she was sitting alone in the corner of the kindergarten's classroom where she was enrolled in. She vaguely heard the chitter chatter of other kids her age who, she noted with a hint of jealousy, had somehow already formed friend groups amongst themselves.

 

Sighing, she put the brush down and clumsily gripped the edges of her work with her pudgy fingers, extending her arms as wide as she could as she held it out for herself to see. She pouted and hummed to herself, evaluating whether it was decent enough to hand it in. Maybe she should add more blue, and perhaps a dash of orange, or another tinge of green-

 

Suddenly, there was a clatter followed by a loud crash as the classroom door burst open, revealing a very flustered but otherwise pretty looking lady. Her hair was wild and stood in every which way and that- and her clothes weren't any better as it looked like she'd hastily thrown on random clothes before rushing there. The assumption that she DID rush there was entirely plausible because her cheeks were flushed and she seemed to be out of breath.

 

Hyejoo noted that the whole class had turned dead quiet in the next subsequent minute or so after the unkempt lady had practically ripped the door off of its hinges but she seemed to pay it no mind, instead bending over and putting her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

 

"I'm sorry, miss-?"

 

The woman put up a finger without moving from her spot, halting her art teacher's inquisitiveness, and Hyejoo saw her clamp her mouth shut immediately much to her amusement. When it finally seemed that the woman had composed herself enough to finally speak, she instantly stood upright and shot a bright smile at the entire classroom as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

 

"Hello! Well, this is just grand," she waved jovially at Hyejoo's class, still ignoring the teacher entirely. All of the other kids instantly broke out of their frozen state to match the unknown lady's enthusiasm, giggling and clapping their hands like the unknowing children they were while Hyejoo remained stoic and puzzled. She eyed her as much as she could without seeming too rude, keeping in mind what her parents had taught her about staring, and could've sworn she saw movement behind the woman's back. Curious, Hyejoo stretched her neck, trying to get a better view, and even went so far as to rise to her feet to stand on her tippy toes. When she still couldn't see anything, she gave up and frowned to herself before slumping back into her seat in defeat just as the woman spoke up again.

 

"I'm sorry for the intrusion but I actually forgot that it's my daughter's first day in kindy so being oblivious me I didn't set my alarm," she rushed in one sentence and finally acknowledged the art teacher who brightened up at the mention of another potential student.

 

"Oh! Right, right," Miss Lee turned around and rummaged through the stacks of paper she had on her desk and extracted one from the pile as she read its content. "You must be Mrs Park?"

 

"Yeah, that's me," she nodded quickly and Miss Lee looked up and met her eyes questioningly.

 

"Where's this daughter of yours then, Mrs Park?"

 

"What ever do you mean, she's right he- Wonnie! Have you been hiding behind me the whole time, you silly goose."

 

Mrs Park turned around and ushered forth a petite little girl who was the spitting image of her and Hyejoo felt something leap in her chest at how pretty the new girl was. Her hair was silky black which was tied up into a ponytail with a white ribbon perfectly adding the cutesy finishing touch. She was also wearing a frilly white dress to which she was nervously picking at the hem of the sleeves, looking down while shifting from one foot to the other. Hyejoo inwardly pouted, not understanding why her heart rate was quickening, and placed a hand to her chest, balling up the soft cotton material of her shirt. She was so distracted with how odd she was acting that she didn't realise that Mrs Park had approached her with her daughter in tow.

 

"Why, doesn't that painting of yours look as pretty as you?" she said softly and smiled down at Hyejoo who was at a loss for words, her mouth agape. Hyejoo's eyes flitted to her daughter instead and for a split second their gazes met and they both quickly looked away, blushes forming on their respective cheeks. Mrs Park laughed at both girls and tugged her daughter nearer to Hyejoo's table gently, "Would you mind being friends with her? She may not look like it but she's actually pretty fun once you get to know her."

 

"Mummy!" the girl interjected in an exasperated tone and pulled away her hand that was intertwined with Mrs Park's but Hyejoo couldn't really be bothered by that action because her voice was quite possibly the softest sounding thing she's ever heard. Immediately, Mrs Park knelt down so that she was eye level with her and cooed while pinching her cheeks. "I'm just kidding, baby. Don't be mad at mummy, okay?"

 

Hyejoo saw the girl shake her head in response and attempted to glare at her mother but failed as Mrs Park was making funny faces. Even Hyejoo felt obliged to stifle a laugh because, gosh, was Mrs Park quirky! Once satisfied that her daughter harboured no ill feelings for herself, Mrs Park reached up to stroke her hair lovingly and moved to plant a lingering kiss on her forehead. When she pulled back she cupped her daughter's cheeks in her palms before shooting her a reassuring smile.

 

“I'll be going now so be a good girl for me okay? Can you do that for mummy?”

 

The girl's bottom lip started quivering and Hyejoo felt the rising instinctive need to protect this girl for all she was worth. Just as she'd managed to somehow muster up enough courage in her to speak up, Mrs Park sighed and turned her attention on Hyejoo and it dissipated just as quickly as it had appeared as she curled her body to make herself smaller.

 

“Hey…Hyejoo,” Mrs Park eyed the name scrawled messily on the top right hand corner of her paper and Hyejoo nodded wordlessly. “Would you mind watching over her? She's a bit shy but I'm sure you girls will get along well. Can you do that for me?”

 

Mrs Park lifted her pinkie finger up and Hyejoo stared at it apprehensively, clearly conflicted on making such promises when she barely knew them. But the warmth and sincere hope lingering behind Mrs Park's eyes made Hyejoo falter and upon hearing the girl's sniffling in the background only pushed her to link her own pinkie finger around hers. Mrs Park beamed at her and wound their fingers tightly, holding it there for several seconds before getting to her feet. Hyejoo then saw her put on a tough love face before spinning on her heel without another word, her daughter making a sputtering sound at the sudden movement before moving to follow her but was held back when a soft hand grasped hers gently. Confused, she turned around to come face to face with a blushing Hyejoo who lowered her head to hide behind ravenette locks that cascaded in waves over her shoulders.

 

“P-paint with me,” she choked out and grimaced at how small and squeaky her voice was. The girl sighed and looked over her shoulder to see that her mum had gone and that the atmosphere had picked up where it left off before they had made that entrance. Even the teacher was back at her desk, reprimanding several students for painting their faces with an exasperated “That doesn't wash off easily!” Shoulders slumping, she nodded in defeat and slid into the seat next to Hyejoo, their hands still intertwined. Interestingly enough, neither one wanted to let go as it gave each other a sense of unwarranted comfort- for Hyejoo it was due to her finally having a companion and for the girl it was to make up for the fact that her mum wasn't there for her- so they didn't bother bringing it up. Hyejoo bored holes into the table when silence ensued and noticed the cracks in the pale wood, the scribbles from students past, the-

 

“...Chaewon.”

 

Hyejoo's head snapped back up to see the pretty girl staring at her with an expectant face and she tried to piece together why that was so. An amused smile grew on the girl's face and she repeated, “My name's Park Chaewon,” before slowly disentangling her hand from Hyejoo's grasp much to her disappointment. She grabbed at a couple paintbrushes which Hyejoo had laid out in a neat row on the corner of the desk and when she looked up, her eyes were sparkling.

 

“What are we doing today?” she said excitedly and tried to decipher whatever Hyejoo was currently painting but Hyejoo was too busy observing her new companion and noticed that no matter how excited or frustrated this girl got, her voice remained as light and soft as a feather that gently caressed her ears. She snapped out of it when Chaewon used the end of a paintbrush to tickle her hand and said, “I don't know much about painting but you look like you could use help, too.”

 

 

She smiled cheekily and Hyejoo blushed and swatted lightly at the brush. “That's mean, Chaewon,” she grumbled and the other girl giggled at her response and nudged her shoulder.

 

“You can call me Wonnie. Only people I like and mummy gets to call me that!”

 

Hyejoo's hand that was reaching for another paintbrush froze in midair but Chaewon didn't seem to notice as she was already making full use of the assortment of art materials Hyejoo had brought and was starting to mix red with green to which she grimaced when it produced an ugly shade of brown. She shook her head and clutched her chest for the second time that day when her heart started racing but quickly reprimanded herself to not overthink things. So, with a new spurt of motivation, she focused all of her energy into finishing the painting that was sorely looking like something that had come up from a nightmare.

 

She sighed and closed her eyes but hid a smile behind her hair when she heard Chaewon say, “It doesn't look too bad! Let's do this together.”

 

And so they did.

 

-

 

“Miss Lee?”

 

The woman hummed and looked up at the two girls, Chaewon who had a bright and proud smile and Hyejoo who had her eyes downcast, fiddling with her fingers. Her attention turned to Chaewon when she held out the painting and her eyebrows raised when she noticed the names scribbled at the top right corner.

 

“Son Hyejoo…and Park Chaewon? You girls did this together?”

 

Chaewon beamed and nodded enthusiastically, reaching down to hold Hyejoo's hand or, more specifically, onto Hyejoo's index finger. Miss Lee hummed and decided not to tell them that this activity was supposed to be done individually and smiled before dismissing them. She watched as the two girls whooped and skipped back to their seats hand in hand before looking down at their work. The focus of this activity for that lesson was to paint out how they felt about the first day of school and she gave a chuckle when she saw how badly smudged the entire thing was but what caught her attention were the two girls holding hands in the middle of it all, amongst all the bright colours and hearts that dotted every inch of the canvas.

 

With the initials P.C and S.H in bright pink paint over them.


	2. First Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (｡ •́︿•̀｡)

The bell rung and almost immediately hordes of children erupted into a wild, screaming mess as they ignored the teacher's pleading requests to be careful and ran outside to the playground. Hyejoo and Chaewon shot each other a look and stood up to race each other to the swings but Hyejoo grimaced and held her hands against her tummy. Chaewon's eyebrows lifted in worry and before she could say anything Hyejoo beat her to it, saying in a small, guilty voice.

 

"I-I need to pee..."

 

Chaewon looked at her in understanding and unconsciously reached out to brush a stray lock of Hyejoo's hair behind her ear which had come undone from her braid and nodded, "Okay. Do you need me to follow you?"

 

Hyejoo shook her head quickly and said determinedly, "No! I mean, no, I can go myself."

 

She saw a ghost of a smile appear on Chaewon's face before she turned around and said over her shoulder, "Well, hurry! I'll save a swing for us," before taking off into a sprint.

 

-

 

It'd been weeks since their first encounter and they'd been attached at the hip for the most part. They sat next to each other every day, shared lunchboxes, spent playtime together on the swings and so forth. Hyejoo had never had a proper friend before Chaewon and she was entirely grateful and appreciative of the girl despite never voicing it out for fear that the sentiment wasn't mutual. She was always wary of Chaewon, anxious that one day whatever they had would end, so she tended to savour every second with her.

 

So, with that in mind, she hurried back from the bathroom after relieving herself and made haste to the playground...only to stop in her tracks when she saw that some other kid was occupying the swing that they normally shared and that Chaewon was nowhere to be found.

 

Her head swivelled around as she scoped the entirety of the playground and spotted a group of girls- who were known for being absolute meanies- surrounding the slides and curiosity piqued her interest enough to make her way over there. As she got closer, she heard them talking aggressively to someone who was apparently hiding underneath and behind the slope of one slide and vaguely heard the words 'liar' and 'dumbo'.

 

Hyejoo frowned in annoyance and was about to speak up but faltered when she heard one of the girls say, "My mum heard from the teacher that you're a year older than the rest of us! Why are you even in our class? Are you that dumb, Park Chaewon?"

 

She stopped breathing for a moment once she realised that Chaewon was the person they were cornering whilst her mind struggled to process this new information- but when one of the girls made a move to kick the helpless girl on the ground, all sense of rationality was thrown out of the window as she ran to the front of the group, skidded to a halt, and turned to face them with her arms splayed wide and her back to Chaewon.

 

"Stop!"

 

Her voice came out timid and had a slight tremor to it despite intending to come off as strong but Hyejoo had never been a strong person. She was always the one hiding behind people, seeking to find protection. But she had to be now; she needed to be for Chaewon. So she braved herself for whatever was to come when the girls sneered at her and didn't stop their advances. Panicking, she squeaked, "I'll tell Miss Lee that you girls bullied Wonnie! T-then you'll have to spend next playtime in class..."

 

This made them hesitate and murmur amongst themselves in hushed whispers. Hyejoo stood there awkwardly with baited breath and tensed when they looked up only to sigh in relief when they scoffed, "Okay, then...but make sure to keep yourselves far away from us, freaks."

 

They turned on their heels and went away to probably find another kid to pick on but Hyejoo couldn't care less as she only had one person in mind. She quickly got onto her hands and knees and crawled under the slide to Chaewon who was tightly hugging her knees against her chest with her head burrowed between them, making her look even smaller than she already was. Hyejoo's heart clenched at the sight as she repositioned herself so that she was sitting cross-legged in front of her and gently pried away her fingers that were digging into her skin, the knuckles turning white from the exertion.

 

"Wonnie, are you okay? I'm here. Hyejoo's here," she whispered so as not to startle her. Chaewon's head slowly lifted to reveal her eyes brimming with unshed tears and Hyejoo felt her own start welling up as well as she sputtered, "I'm sorry. I should've come back quicker."

 

"No..." Chaewon shook her head and looked away, "-they're right. I'm a freak. You should find other friends."

 

Hyejoo couldn't believe her ears and replied angrily, "What? Why would you listen to them! No matter what anyone says-" she grabbed one of Chaewon's hands and firmly held it against her heart, "- you're my friend."

 

It happened too fast for Hyejoo to react as she flailed about and dug her hands into the ground so that they wouldn't topple over when Chaewon climbed onto her legs and hugged her, arms wrapped around her neck clumsily and face buried in the crook of her neck. Snapping out of her initial surprise, Hyejoo hugged her back just as tight and felt their heartbeats thrum in unison.

 

They stayed like that for a while, ignoring the distant wailing of kids and the occasional thump and squeal of someone using the slide above them, but they felt at ease just to be in each other's embrace. Hyejoo knew better than to pry so she just waited for Chaewon to speak while fiddling with the ends of Chaewon's hair and marvelling at its silkiness. When she did speak her voice was low, her breath fanning out over Hyejoo's neck, raising goosebumps on her skin to which she shivered.

 

“A year ago, my dad used to take me to school.”

 

Hyejoo's heart dropped at Chaewon's use of past tense but didn't want to interrupt so she merely hummed in response.

 

“One day, after sending me off, he got involved i-in…” she hiccupped and Hyejoo moved her hand in a circular motion on Chaewon's back to comfort her, “...an accident. My mum was, uh, really sad and I had to stop going to school because no one could send me plus I had to make sure my mum didn't…”

 

Hyejoo waited for her to finish that sentence but she never did.

 

“Anyway, that's the reason why I'm a year behind,” Chaewon pulled away just enough so that she could shoot a reassuring smile toward Hyejoo but her eyes were still very sad and Hyejoo could see that she was faking it but chose to not comment on it.

 

“But that's alright because I got to meet you and be friends,” she added and rested her forehead against Hyejoo's. She smiled softly and when she blinked, tears finally fell one after another and stained the front of Hyejoo's shirt.

 

Hyejoo cupped her cheeks and her thumbs chased after each and every tear, catching it and wiping it away.

 

“Don't cry, Wonnie. I'm here. I'll always be here.”

 

And she fully intended to keep that promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please vote on Idol Champ, M Countdown, Soompi Awards, Starpass and stream Butterfly! Let's get the girls their first win ÒwÓ


	3. First Birthdays

"Hye."

 

"Hm?" she didn't look up from the coloured pieces of paper she was folding into various shapes and sizes. Origami, she vaguely remembered it being called. Right now, she was trying to make a paper crane.

 

Emphasis on trying.

 

Giving up, she sighed and looked up to see Chaewon busy folding another paper heart and then proceeding to place it tentatively on the pile of hearts which were stacked haphazardly in her pencil case.

 

_Why don't you learn another shape? These are getting pretty boring._

 

_So I can give them to you whenever you're feeling down. That way I'd have an endless supply of hearts at your service!_

 

Hyejoo had blushed at that and didn't continue the conversation further, instead scrambling off with a rushed 'I gotta go get more coloured paper' and stumbled her way over to the teacher in charge.

 

"Yeah, Wonnie?"

 

Chaewon finished folding a blue heart and placed it aside before clearing her throat, back straight and hands folded. "When's your birthday?"

 

The question threw Hyejoo off for a loop; she hadn't expected that question with how formal Chaewon was acting. It seemed like Hyejoo would never get use to how random Chaewon was.

 

"Uh, thirteenth November," she responded tentatively, drawing out the words. Hyejoo saw Chaewon's eyes light up as she reached for her hands, holding them loosely between her dainty fingers. "Oh! We have the same birth month," she squeezed Hyejoo's hands and scooted her chair closer to better hold them, the wooden chair that she sat on making a loud screeching sound against the floor tiles that made Hyejoo wince.

 

It had been sort of their thing, the hand holding. Any time of the day, one or the other would reach over and wordlessly hold the other's hands, balancing them precariously between their small fingers, palms soft and warm to the touch. When they ate, their hands were linked which sometimes caused a bother for them since they had to figure out how to eat with only one hand. Even when they were colouring or doing school work, they were holding hands- even though Hyejoo would never admit to Chaewon that she was a right-hander and had specifically learnt how to use her left hand just for that alone. She was still young after all and could learn quickly so she counted her lucky stars.

 

"Really? When's yours, Wonnie?" she bit her lip to refrain from giggling when Chaewon softly brushed the back of her hands which tickled her.

 

"The nineteenth."

 

"Okay...?" Hyejoo didn't know where this was heading. "Why are you asking this now?"

 

"Nothing, really. I just felt like knowing." Chaewon seemed a bit out of it and turned away so that she couldn't see her face.

 

"Wonnie?" The girl merely shrugged and Hyejoo felt the light, cheery mood surrounding them significantly dip.

 

_Did I say something wrong?_

 

Hyejoo wracked her brain and tried to ignore the painstakingly awkward silence growing between them and spoke up in a light voice, "I celebrated mine at the water park last year. Even though my dad knows that I hate water-" she rolled her eyes, "-but all in all it was pretty fun. What about you, Wonnie?"

 

Chaewon didn't seem to hear her and Hyejoo squeezed her hand to get her attention. She blinked and her lips stretched into a thin smile which didn't meet her eyes. “Ah, I didn't celebrate my birthday last year. Mummy couldn't bear to do it without my dad around so…”

 

Hyejoo inwardly groaned and mentally smacked herself on the head.

 

_I should have kept my mouth shut._

 

Then an idea popped into her head. Hyejoo gently pried a hand out of Chaewon's loose grip and brushed stray locks of raven hair out of Chaewon's face before cupping her cheek. Which was really soft and warm, might she add.

 

“I know! How about we celebrate together this year? I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind. Besides, our birthdays are just days apart so it's perfect,” she excitedly rushed out in one breath and Chaewon couldn't help but partake in some of the energy too.

 

“That'd be awesome, Hye,” she reached up to cover the hand that was cupping her cheek and squeezed ever so slightly, her lips upturned into the smile that Hyejoo loved seeing. Their eyes locked onto each other's and Hyejoo felt herself get lost in the light brown irises of her pupils, noticing the golden flecks in them for the first time. She blushed when she realised how close their faces were and jolted backwards, hand dropping from Chaewon's face.

 

Clearing her throat nervously, she looked around and spoke in a rushed voice, wanting to forget what had just transpired, “Then I guess we gotta figure out who to invite to our party. So, uh, do you have anyone in mind?”

 

Chaewon raised an eyebrow at her odd behaviour but chose not to speak on it and instead deadpanned, “In case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly very popular around here.”

 

Well, Hyejoo couldn't deny that.

 

“But still! Won't it be really lame if it was just the both of us?”

 

Chaewon shrugged. “I don't see a problem with that since anything is nice as long as it's with you.”

 

“Stop doing that,” Hyejoo whined and bumped her shoulder against Chaewon's as she hid her flushed face behind her hair.

 

“Do what? Aw, is baby Hye blushing again?” Chaewon cooed and ducked her head so that she could see past the curtain of hair, giggling at Hyejoo's pout. Hyejoo swatted at her half-heartedly but Chaewon merely caught her hands and held them.

 

“Anyway, I was thinking…what about that new girl in the corner? She seems nice enough,” Hyejoo spoke after several minutes of her pretending to pull her hands out of Chaewon's grip and the other girl mock-crying about how mean she was and how she shouldn't do this to her.

 

Chaewon perked up at that, “Who?” and followed Hyejoo's gaze to the girl who was sitting alone on a lone bench at the reading corner, seemingly engrossed in a storybook, her lips pouted in concentration.

 

The girl had joined their class several weeks into the school year and had yet to make any lasting friends. It wasn't that she was weird or a bully- even the Meanies (that's what Hyejoo had decided to nickname the group of girls who had bullied Chaewon on the playground that one time) kept their distance- but she was overtly cheerful and happy all the time which had caused several kids to be uncomfortable around her. She laughed even when she'd fallen down and bruised her knees, she smiled and waved it off when she lost one of her favourite glitter pens. Sometimes Hyejoo wondered how one could be so positive all the time since it must be very exhausting.

 

“Are you sure about her?” Chaewon turned to face Hyejoo with genuine curiosity painted across her features. Hyejoo took a moment to gather her thoughts, fiddling with her fingers, before murmuring, “Yeah…”

 

Chaewon sensed that she wasn't done so she waited patiently for her to continue.

 

Hyejoo took a long breath and said, “It's just that she reminds me of…me.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Hyejoo winced at the sound of confusion that left Chaewon and licked her dry lips before explaining.

 

“On the first day of school, before you came, I had no friends too. And it really sucked…”

 

She met Chaewon's understanding face and finished with a solemn but determined, “So I don't want her feeling the same way.”

 

Chaewon suddenly pulled her into a tight hug. “That's really nice of you,” she whispered into Hyejoo's ears before pulling away. “Let's go talk to her.”

 

They stood up and, holding hands, made their way over to the girl who looked up from her book inquisitively when they approached her.

 

“Hello,” Chaewon spoke up on behalf of the both of them because she knew how shy Hyejoo was and would keep her mouth clamped shut even though it was her idea.

 

As expected, the girl's face broke out into a wide, toothy grin and she waved enthusiastically as she greeted them.

 

“Hiya! What brings you here? Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners? My name's Yerim,” she scooted on the bench and patted the empty space beside her, beckoning for them to sit. Chaewon tugged Hyejoo along as she sat down next to Yerim and, after adjusting herself, tried to match the bright smile on Yerim's face when she turned toward her.

 

“Wanna come to our birthday party? I mean, it's not confirmed yet and it's months away but we'd love for you to come.”

 

Yerim clapped her hands and jumped in her seat excitedly, “Ooo parties! I love parties. So you're celebrating together? That's cute.”

 

Before Chaewon could confirm, Hyejoo spoke up, “What do you mean by cute! We're not cute…”

 

She rubbed the back of her head and fixed her eyes on her lap and Chaewon could only shake her head at her friend's outburst. “...anyway, yeah. We're celebrating our birthdays together and we're inviting you.”

 

“Aw, that's so sweet of you. But I still don't know your names,” Yerim dared to glance at the quiet girl next to Chaewon who was chewing nervously on her bottom lip. “I'm Chaewon. And this shy girl here is Hyejoo.”

 

“It's nice to meet you, Chaewon and Hyejoo,” Yerim beamed and Hyejoo took a peek at her out of the corner of her eye. She seemed to be friendly so Hyejoo managed to stutter out a hushed, “Hi…” before retreating back into her shell.

 

Chaewon merely smiled at her behaviour, having grown accustomed to it, and told Yerim, “Don't mind her. She'll warm up to you soon, Yerim.”

 

As the two newly acquainted friends continued their light and friendly banter, Hyejoo kept quiet and still by Chaewon's side, making small braids out of Chaewon's ponytail to keep herself entertained.

 

She tried to ignore the slight twinge in her chest when Yerim reached over to hold Chaewon's hand and when the latter didn't do anything but grip tighter while laughing at a joke she had made.

 

_Stop being silly._

 

-

 

The doorbell rang frantically and Hyejoo yelled “I'll get it!” while stumbling down the stairs quickly, almost tripping over herself. When she opened the door with a grin, she was met with Mrs Park's unkempt form still in her work clothes which was a stark contrast to Chaewon's cute outfit- a white turtleneck shirt paired with overalls while her hair was done neatly in a French braid.

 

“Hey there, birthday girl,” she smiled tiredly and ruffled Hyejoo's hair. Wordlessly, Chaewon slipped off her shoes and promptly walked over to stand side by side with Hyejoo as she faced her mother with an unreadable expression on her face which had Hyejoo curious. She didn't miss the look of guilt that flashed across Mrs Park's face too as she stared at her daughter for a second too long before diverting her attention to Hyejoo again.

 

“Unfortunately, I have a late shift today so I can't join you girls. I'll pick you up later alright, Wonnie?” Chaewon didn't answer, instead clenching her fists and looking at her socked feet. Hyejoo didn't like seeing her so upset so she reached over and held her hand, gently prying her fingers which were digging into the soft flesh of her palms and indenting small crescent moons on the skin there. She visibly relaxed, comforted by the warmth of Hyejoo's hand in hers, and finally nodded which gave Mrs Park reprieve as she dug around in her pocket before producing two identical jewelry boxes.

 

“Here are your presents, darlings. I didn't have time to wrap them up, though,” she chuckled and handed them over to Hyejoo who mumbled a quiet thank you. Sparing another glance at her daughter who had yet to say anything, she sighed defeatedly and planted a chaste kiss on both of their foreheads, “Have a happy birthday, girls.”

 

She turned around and walked down the driveway to her car, the ignition rumbling in the quiet evening air, before pulling out of their sights slowly but surely.

 

Chaewon still didn't move a muscle so Hyejoo said, “Let's go upstairs to my room. Yerim's already here and waiting for you.”

 

-

 

The lights dimmed and suddenly the birthday song was playing on the living room's speakers, blaring the same old tune that everyone couldn't help but sing along to. As Mrs Son carried the cake in, the flames from the candles flickering precariously close to her face and illuminating the room with an orange glow, Hyejoo couldn't help but be affected by how quiet Chaewon had been the whole night.

 

She was glad that Yerim was there to cheer her up however she could since Hyejoo had never been particularly good in that field but it hadn't been enough since Chaewon was still as closed off as ever.

 

She wasn't acting like the Chaewon she knew- the one who'd tease her relentlessly, the one who'd hold her hand every second of the day, the one who'd crack silly jokes at the most random of times, the one who'd tickle her silly just to hear her laugh.

 

Right now she was half-heartedly clapping along to the song and mindlessly shuffled over to the table when Mrs Son called them over to cut the cake and blow out the candles.

 

“Yerim, go and stand next to them. Say cheese!” Mr Son had his camera at the ready and soon there were bright flashes as he took pictures of the three girls. Hyejoo had to whine for her dad to stop and when he did, Mrs Son chased the three of them away so that she could cut the cake and serve it to everyone.

 

So that's how the girls found themselves sitting on the porch swing, their legs dangling aimlessly as they swayed to and fro gently. The only sound that could be heard was the soft, gentle whistling of the wind and the tinkling wind chimes that hung from the ceiling of the patio. Neither had spoken yet, much preferring to dwell in their own thoughts and revel in this moment of serenity after all the prior hecticness. When Hyejoo heard her mum call for her, she spoke into the silence, “I'll be back soon,” and plopped onto her feet as she padded into the living room.

 

“Where are the girls? Oh, nevermind. Just give them these, won't you?” Mrs Son held out three plates of cake and Hyejoo nodded, balancing them between her hands as she slowly made her way back.

 

Nearing the door to the patio, she heard low voices and stopped in her tracks. Her intentions weren't to eavesdrop, no, but something prompted her to stay rooted to the spot. She silently placed the plates on a nearby table and inched closer to the door so that she could hear better.

 

“I know how hard it must be.”

 

Yerim's voice.

 

“Do you now?”

 

It sounded like Chaewon was on the verge of crying and every inch of Hyejoo's body was screaming at her to rush out there and hold her tight, to do anything to prevent the tears from falling. But she willed herself to stay, to listen. Letting out a shaky breath, she clenched her eyes shut and rested her back against the wall behind her to steady herself.

 

“Yeah, Wonnie,” Hyejoo's heart skipped a beat at the use of Chaewon's nickname, “I may not look it but I've actually been through stuff.”

 

A laugh.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” a short silence ensued and Hyejoo was about to barge out there but hesitated when Yerim continued in a small voice that Hyejoo had never heard her use before.

 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Hyejoo heard Chaewon hum in response.

 

“My mummy and daddy aren't actually mine. My real parents weren't doing a good job and, one day, there were these men in suits at the door and they took me away. I don't know what happened to them but I'm just really lucky that I have a nicer family now.”

 

Hyejoo covered her mouth to stop the gasp that left her but Chaewon's could be heard loud and clear.

 

“I-I'm sorry to hear that, Yerimmie.”

 

“It's okay, really. I guess that's why I'm always happy, you know? Because I've been through worse.”

 

Hyejoo felt her head spin at the revelation and couldn't take it anymore so she slumped to the ground with a loud thud, her knees giving way. Instantly, the patio door opened and there stood Yerim with wide eyes, staring down at her pale face. Hyejoo was about to mutter an apology but Yerim just broke into her usual cheerful smile and looked back out at who Hyejoo assumed was Chaewon and said in an assuring tone, “It's just Hyejoo. Nothing to worry about. We'll be with you in a sec.”

 

As Yerim slid down to sit next to Hyejoo, she held her shaky hands and stroked them to calm her down.

 

“I'm sorry,” Hyejoo gulped, confused as to why Yerim wasn't mad at her. She couldn't meet her eyes so she closed them tightly once again, feeling the guilt eat her up inside.

 

“You heard us, right?” Yerim laughed but it sounded forced. Hyejoo could only give a terse nod to her question and Yerim sighed.

 

“It's okay. I was bound to tell you sometime soon,” she spoke quietly and squeezed Hyejoo's hands in reassurance, making Hyejoo look up at her with tears blurring her vision.

 

“I didn't mean to, I promise, Yerimmie,” she choked out and Yerim furrowed her brows.

 

“Hey, I'm not mad at you, Hyejoo,” Yerim hugged her and laced her fingers in Hyejoo's hair, brushing it in an attempt to calm her down.

 

When Yerim pulled away, Hyejoo now saw through the cracks of her smile, the sheen of tears forming in her eyes when she said, “I just want you to know that Chaewon needs you. More than she'll ever need me.”

 

“But how? I can't possibly understand her pain like you do,” Hyejoo sniffled and swiped at her eyes.

 

Yerim laughed, “Ah, you see. That's where you're wrong. Two broken pieces don't make a whole, does it?”

 

She put up a finger to Hyejoo's lips when she was about to retort again.

 

“What I'm trying to say is, maybe what she needs is someone who'll have a better chance at making her whole again rather than someone who's as broken as she is.”

 

Hyejoo didn't really understand what Yerim was trying to imply but nodded her head in mock understanding, causing Yerim to hum in satisfaction and lift up her hand to show her outstretched pinkie finger.

 

“Promise me that you'll take care of Wonnie.”

 

Hyejoo looked at Yerim's pinkie and, without thinking much, hooked her own around it which was vaguely reminiscent of the time Mrs Park and her did the very same thing.

 

“I promise.”

 

With their fingers linked, Yerim locked eyes with her, smiling brightly, and Hyejoo finally smiled back with as much energy as she repeated the words.

 

“I promise to take care of Wonnie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In commemoration to Yerim finally appearing I'll be changing my @ to yermhyewon on twt :)
> 
> Can y'all like leave a comment or sumn it really motivates me :D


	4. First Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic Attacks, PTSD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back.
> 
> I just wanted to state that what I mean by the 'Firsts' is when Hyewon experiences them together- or the 'Firsts' that they go through on their own after meeting each other. Let's say, their first presents or their first birthdays with each other, OR their first fight with someone else etc. Just thought that it might clear up some confusion.

 

If Chaewon had to name one thing that absolutely peeved her, it would be the simple act of waiting; for something to happen or for someone to come. 

 

No, that wouldn't be right, exactly. 

 

It was more of a deeply ingrained fear of hers that somehow managed to emerge after that incident- the incident that had changed her life for the worst. She didn't know how one day could totally turn her life as she knew it upside down.

 

Once, it was just like any other day. Chaewon had woken up to her dad shaking her sleeping figure, whispering tenderly "Wake up, sleepy head" and proceeding to tickle her when she whined and didn't bother moving. They'd wrestle for the blanket and her dad would feign defeat, falling onto his knees and putting up his hands in mock surrender. 

 

"Have mercy on me, Princess Wonnie," he'd say and when she bristled at his indignance, he'd inch closer and throw the unsuspecting girl over his shoulder, and she'd scream and kick but ultimately end up falling into a fit of giggles with her dad when Mrs Park would yell at them to keep it down with a ‘It's morning, for Pete's sake.’ 

 

Chaewon would take a hot shower to wake herself up, brush her teeth then let her mum pick out the outfit she was going to wear for the day. Not surprising that they'd have little quarrels over the smallest of things; 

 

"Mummy, I don't want to wear a ribbon today!" 

 

"Hush, baby. It'd fit your outfit just neat and...there you go!" 

 

With Mrs Park's fingers tugging the ribbon snug and tight in her daughter's ponytail before planting a warm kiss on her forehead.

 

She'd eat breakfast- her usual which consisted of a glass of apple juice and two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crusts off- before her dad would pat her head and tell her that they needed to leave. Before setting off, he'd kiss Mrs Park's cheek and hug her to which she'd then proceed to remind him to not forget about buying the groceries on the way back. 

 

Yeah, Mr Park was a great man, indeed. 

 

Chaewon loved him to bits. 

 

 _Loved_. 

 

-

 

_Chaewon couldn't get that memory out of her head._

 

_She swore she could still feel the brisk air on her skin that day, ruffling the ends of her hair and her bright pink ribbon that fluttered in the wind as she pulled her jacket around her tighter while she waited for her dad._

 

_Kindergarten had ended and she was waiting for her dad out front of the small one-storey building with the rest of the kids who were quickly leaving with their respective parents; which left her completely baffled because her dad would always be one of the first few to rush forward and pick her up when they left the building. He'd look up from the newspaper he's clutching and shoot her the brightest smile upon the sight of her, folding it in a rush and scurrying to lift her up from her feet to give her a piggyback ride to his car._

 

_But there she was, standing all alone, busying herself with kicking the stray pebbles near her feet while the noise of kids squealing and parents bantering with one another around her gradually disappeared- until it was just her and the sound of keys jangling as the last teacher to leave locked the place up._

 

_The teacher had exclaimed, “Oh! Where are your parents, Chaewon?” to which she shrugged and pouted._

 

_“Do you know your parents’ numbers?” the teacher spoke softly as she approached her, bending down on one knee, and Chaewon nodded enthusiastically._

 

_“My dad's!” she puffed out her chest and said it proudly to which the teacher laughed in response._

 

_Chaewon had watched as the teacher slowly typed out the numbers that she had spouted out of memory and she also saw the frown that grew on her face when no one picked up._

 

_“Odd.”_

 

_She had waited patiently until then- being the good-natured, disciplined and proper girl that her parents had brought her up to be. So she piped up, “Maybe daddy is busy with work” and her teacher merely gave a small smile at that._

 

_“Maybe. Let's try your mother then.”_

 

_Everything was a blur after- she remembered her teacher dialing her mum's number and the low gasp that escaped her throat after getting through, and herself being ushered into the teacher's car with her constant mumbling of incoherent words._

 

_From what Chaewon could make out, the words sounded like “We're just going to meet your mother okay?” and “Your father's in a little trouble.”_

 

_She held onto her seatbelt with white knuckles as her little frail body shook every which way and that while watching her teacher frantically make her way through the bustling traffic, the horns and screeching of tires from other cars burned vividly into her mind._

 

-

 

The porch swing rocked slightly in the wind, the wood creaking beneath Chaewon's weight as she sat there waiting. 

 

It'd been a while since Yerim had gone in to talk to Hyejoo and it was making her anxious with each passing second.

 

It had been slowly creeping up on her but now it was in full swing- she felt the familiar tightness in her chest and shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut, trying but failing to will the thoughts out of her head. 

 

Her heart rate started increasing and her breaths became shallow, coming out in short, trembling gasps as her hand flew upwards to grasp onto the front of her shirt, bunching up the material as she tried miserably to stop her heart from aching so badly due to the increasingly lack of oxygen caused by the constricting of her chest. 

 

A panic attack, that's what she remembered the doctor calling it when she first experienced one while waiting for her mother to come home from grocery shopping (the barren shelves and cupboards were a reminder that her mum hadn't gone shopping in a while). 

 

Mrs Park had unlocked the front door, calling out to her to help with the shopping bags. When she received no response, she dropped the bags on the floor, paying no mind to the cans of food rolling out of them, and rushed inside the apartment. Her mother had found her in a quivering mess in the middle of the living room floor, her hand still clutching the TV’s remote control with white knuckles, suffering terrible chills and a cold sweat as her body shook badly, not being able to breathe. 

 

Her mother then frantically drove her over to the nearest hospital where she was thus diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder- much to her mother's dismay. Mrs Park had held Chaewon in her arms tightly and wept but Chaewon just numbly stared off into the distance, not really knowing what that meant for her. 

 

After that, Mrs Park refused to leave Chaewon alone and brought her everywhere so that if she happened to have another attack, she would be there to help. Chaewon hated taking the medication- it tasted disgusting- but she intended to be less of a burden on her mother who had just come out of a long depressive stage of her life. 

 

So, after weeks of arguing, her mother had reluctantly agreed that she was allowed to go out and about on her own- resuming school and hanging out with friends- with the stern reminder to not let anything trigger her attacks. 

 

Albeit getting better at avoiding such triggers, the events of that day had left her understandably vulnerable and emotionally unstable; which meant that she was even more susceptible to suffering another. 

 

It was all too much for a young child like her to take so she moved forward on the porch swing and placed her feet on the ground, her mind racing a million thoughts a second. She opened her mouth to call for help but all that came out was a hoarse choke that brought about a hacking round of bruising coughs that left her even more winded. Her vision was starting to visibly darken at the edges and she started panicking, scrambling off of the swing and falling to her hands and knees, breathing heavily. 

 

_“How do you deal with a panic attack?” she had asked the doctor in charge, lightly gnawing on her knuckles to distract herself._

 

_The doctor looked up from his clipboard and smiled, “There are several ways but I would recommend picturing your happy place.”_

 

_“My…happy place?”_

 

_“Something that makes you happy just by thinking about it. Something that manages to make you smile even on the worst of days. It could be a pleasant memory, a place or even a person.”_

 

“M-my happy place,” she murmured in between laboured breaths and her mind stopped, just for a second, and she sifted through her thoughts haphazardly, looking for that one thing. It finally settled on someone, someone with long black hair like hers with the prettiest, fluttery eyes she had ever seen coupled with cute triangular lips and she knew. 

 

She knew then that Son Hyejoo was her happy place. 

 

Her breathing immediately evened out enough for her to get in some much-needed air, her quiet gasps breaking the din of the night as it served as background noise for the wind-chimes tinkling above her, as she held strongly onto the memories of all the times Hyejoo would hold her hand, of Hyejoo hugging her, of Hyejoo smiling at her. 

 

_Son Hyejoo._

 

She managed to weakly push herself up to stand on shaky feet and was subconsciously glad that the door wasn't far as she wobbled to it, needing to get back to Hyejoo and Yerim. Loosely gripping the door handle, she turned it and stumbled in as her feet gave out again which made her fall to the ground with a loud thump. 

 

“Chaewon!” 

 

She looked up and, through her blurry vision, she saw two girls hurriedly getting up and off the ground to kneel next to her. Shortly thereafter, Hyejoo's worried face came into view when she got closer and cupped her face gently- and Chaewon blinked several times to try to really focus on her, her safe and happy place, to ease the onslaught of her panic attack which worked somewhat. 

 

“Your skin's all clammy and red, Wonnie. Are you alright? Do I need to call my parents?” Hyejoo had readjusted her head so that she now laid on her knees and she looked up at her, shaking her head weakly in response. She knew that they'd only call Mrs Park and she didn't want to ruin everyone else's night (plus the fact that she hadn't had a panic attack in a long time so this would only set her back in Mrs Park's eyes). 

 

“No, no. T-this is good, Hye,” her hand reached up to stroke Hyejoo's cheek in reassurance and Hyejoo only frowned but nodded after slight deliberation. On the other hand, Yerim was gently brushing away the hair that stuck to her sticky forehead and pulled out a hankie with a picture of a dinosaur on it to wipe the excess sweat off, humming as she did so with an anxious face. 

 

“It's going to be okay, Wonnie,” Yerim said soothingly and smiled, her bottom lip quivering. 

 

They stayed in that position for a while, waiting for Chaewon's heavy and quick breathing to turn normal before standing up with either of her arms around Yerim and Hyejoo's shoulders as they hoisted her up and walked towards Hyejoo's bedroom. Walking up the stairs was slightly difficult as they had to make sure Chaewon didn't trip on a step and fall on her face- but they managed to do so with slow, tentative steps. 

 

When they reached Hyejoo's room, they laid Chaewon down on her bed which was covered with wolf plushies (which Hyejoo embarrassedly push off to make more room for Chaewon) and Hyejoo closed and locked the door so that her parents wouldn't barge in at any given moment. 

 

She went back to sit on the other side of the bed from Yerim and clasped Chaewon's hand tightly, no words being said between all three of them for a while…until Yerim made Hyejoo and Chaewon jump in surprise by clapping her hands and exclaiming, “Oh! The both of you have yet to open your presents.”

 

She jumped up and down in her spot on the bed, making the bed springs squeak, as she dug around in the huge front pockets of her dress (Chaewon found herself staring at them in awe despite everything because _pockets!_ On a dress, no less) only to produce three small, identical and clumsily wrapped boxes. The wrapping paper was a light, shimmery purple colour that was tied up with big red bows which Yerim hurriedly explained that she had ‘wrapped these myself!’ as she passed two of them over to Hyejoo to hold for Chaewon who was still a bit out of it. 

 

“I hope you don't mind but I got friendship rings for all three of us…even though it's not my birthday,” she said bashfully and blushed which was uncharacteristic of her. “It's just that you guys are my first ever friends and I wanted to do something special because you make me feel special and-” 

 

She stopped rambling when Chaewon's hand settled on hers lightly- which was then followed quickly by Hyejoo's on top of Chaewon's to form sort of a stack of hands and Yerim took a deep breath. 

 

“We'd always have a part of each other, no matter where we are, as long as we wear these rings.”

 

There was a beat of silence before Chaewon whispered, “I think that's a wonderful idea, Yerimmie,” as a matching smile grew on her face that matched Hyejoo's who nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”

 

Yerim smiled the brightest she'd ever smiled in her entire life from their reassurance and then gestured for the other two to open up the gifts. Giddy with excitement, all three of them tore through the wrapping paper with unfiltered childish happiness and ‘oo-ed’ and ‘ah-ed’ upon the sight of the rings. They were matching bands with the same swirly pattern running along the silver with engravings of their initials on it. Immediately, they slid the rings on and held it up against the light to admire it better, watching all three of their hands in the air turn this way and that to stare at the rings which shimmered prettily on their dainty fingers. 

 

“Do you like them?” Yerim asked tentatively and as a response got tackled with a hug from both of them, giggling as they fell back into the comforter of Hyejoo's bed, arms and limbs tangling with each other's. 

 

“I love it!” Chaewon and Hyejoo said in unison which further fueled another round of giggles which left all of them breathless. They just laid there for a second in blissful silence and Chaewon almost forgot that she'd just got through another panic attack but chose to not bring it up again, instead nudging Hyejoo. 

 

“Hye, what about the presents my mummy got us?”

 

Hyejoo grunted as she struggled to get out from the mess of limbs and walked on over to her dresser where she had placed them earlier on in the evening. She ran her fingers lightly over the velvet casings before holding them precariously and returning to where Yerim and Chaewon now sat upright, eyes sparkling in interest. 

 

“Here,” she gave one to Chaewon as she sidled up to Yerim who scooted inwards to give her more space to sit. Together, they opened it and brandished two beautiful rose gold necklaces which made all of them stare in wonder. However, what caught their interest was the oval-shaped locket that hung in the middle. Immediately, Chaewon and Hyejoo moved to open their respective lockets while Yerim gave them her utmost attention, alternating between peeking over both of their shoulders to get a better look. 

 

Chaewon opened the small clasp and saw what was inside the locket: a picture of Hyejoo and her smiling and laughing at each other while holding hands. It was taken some time ago when she first started hanging around Hyejoo's house, coming over after kindergarten because her mother would sometimes run late shifts. 

 

She remembered just sitting on the porch steps with Hyejoo, waiting for Mrs Park to pick her up, when they saw her stroll through the house gate and up the driveway to them. Just as Chaewon was about to stand up and make her way over to greet her mother, Mrs Park put up a hand and instead whipped out her phone to take a picture of them. 

 

“This…” Chaewon snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Hyejoo who was staring at her own locket too before turning it around so that Chaewon could see. 

 

It was the very same picture. 

 

“Oo, matching necklaces!” Yerim exclaimed and clapped her hands but Hyejoo and Chaewon could only stare at each other as a blush formed on their cheeks, “Hey, what's this?” 

 

Yerim pointed at the other side of the locket and that was when the two girls finally noticed that there were letters engraved there.

 

“H-y-e-w-o-n. Hyewon. What about yours, Wonnie?” Yerim examined Chaewon's one next. “It's the same…?”

 

Chaewon and Hyejoo merely shrugged at the combination of their names- if Chaewon was bold enough to admit aloud, it sounded extremely fitting and absolutely pretty- and tore their gazes away from burning holes in their respective lockets, blushes deepening. 

 

_What was mummy thinking?_

 

Chaewon felt her heart leap into her throat and was afraid that Hyejoo would find it odd and random so she attempted to come up with an excuse. She opened her mouth, sputtering, “I...you...it's-”

 

“It's beautiful.”

 

Hyejoo closed the locket and shot her a smile, reaching over to grasp her hand, repeating in a firmer tone, “I think it's beautiful, Wonnie.”

 

Chaewon visibly relaxed and nodded, intertwining their hands before Yerim piped up, “Let's put it on, guys! Here, lemme help.”

 

Yerim gently gathered Chaewon's hair to one side and motioned for her to give her the locket which she then slung over Chaewon's neck, hooking the clasp, before proceeding to do the same for Hyejoo.

 

Chaewon felt the weight of the necklace settle around her neck and subconsciously reached up to finger the locket that rested in between her collarbones. She saw Hyejoo do the very same thing and looked away before she was caught staring, but not before noticing the palpable hitch in her own breathing. 

 

-

 

“Are you sure you don't want to stay over tonight?” 

 

Chaewon shook her head and stared up at the night sky that loomed over Hyejoo's house as they sat on the front steps of the porch, vaguely remembering that this was the exact spot where the picture in the locket that rested snugly on their beating hearts was taken. They were waiting for Mrs Park and, as per usual, she was running late. Yerim had just gone home with her parents- but not before giving the both of them the tightest hugs they'd ever received- which left just the two of them in their own thoughts. 

 

“It's okay. I wouldn't want to trouble Mr and Mrs Son,” she said as an excuse but really she was just afraid of experiencing another attack right in front of Hyejoo's family. Besides, she had her prescriptions at home (which lay forgotten in her bedside desk drawer) so she could be ready if it ever came to that point. 

 

“What?! My parents love you as much as they love me, don't ever doubt that,” Hyejoo huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and Chaewon's eyes rested briefly on Hyejoo's necklace when it shined dully in the porch light. Intending to change the focus of her thoughts, she cleared her throat and spoke meekly, “I'm sorry for tonight, Hye. Your birthday should've been fun and not with you worrying about me.”

 

“About that…what happened?” Hyejoo asked quietly and scooted closer to wrap an arm around Chaewon's shoulders, laying her head there. Chaewon could feel her soft breath tickling her exposed skin and shivered before gulping audibly. 

 

“Ah…now isn't really the best time to be telling you, Hye,” she said guiltily and closed her eyes as she rested her head atop Hyejoo's. Hyejoo hummed and nodded after a while and they decided to drop the conversation for another time but not before Hyejoo murmured softly against Chaewon's shoulder, “I hope you know that you can trust to tell me anything, Wonnie. But for now, I'll just wait until you're ready.”

 

Chaewon kept silent; she felt the slight burn of tears blurring the edges of her vision and was grateful that Hyejoo couldn't see her face from that position. Her heartbeat thumped loudly in her ears as she chewed on her knuckles absentmindedly. 

 

_I wish I could tell you now, Hye._

 

-

 

Chaewon tossed and turned in a restless state that night, not being able to fall asleep. Groaning in frustration, she tiredly laid on her back to stare daggers at the ceiling. She didn't know why her mind was racing and bothering her and it was driving her nuts. 

 

Her hand rested on the newly acquired accessory on her chest (Hyejoo and her thanked Mrs Park profusely for the gift when she arrived to pick her up) and her fingers unclasped the locket. She then groggily sat up and squinted at what's inside, using what little moonlight that managed to spill through the cracks of her window to illuminate the picture and the name that was engraved into it. 

 

“Hye…won,” she read the words out loud slowly, testing how the syllables rolled off her tongue, as her fingers brushed against the picture adoringly. 

 

Chaewon stared at the picture until she got all cross-eyed before closing it with a soft _click_ that resonated throughout her empty and quiet room. She went back to lying down and found that her mind wasn't racing nearly as much and she startled when a thought kept resurfacing much more than the others which made her heart jump. 

 

_Son Hyejoo is my happy place._

 

It was safe to say that Park Chaewon fell asleep with a bright smile on her face that night. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter hurt me a lot...I guess that's why I've been on hiatus for quite a while. 
> 
> I'm sorry, Chaewon (｡ •́︿•̀｡)


	5. First Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone~

It was December and the ground had frozen all over and winds had picked up to blow freezing chills all throughout the city of Seoul. 

 

The winter holidays had started and Chaewon was looking forward to spending them with Hyejoo and Yerim. She hadn't felt this happy, this _free_ , in a long time- since her dad had passed to be exact. And she fully intended to make full use of the blissful feeling that currently surged through every nerve and bone in her body as she slipped her hand in Yerim's and Hyejoo's while skipping through Hyejoo's backyard. 

 

“Here's a spot!” Yerim crouched onto her knees and patted the ground with her mittened hand while Hyejoo poked it with a stick, the ground barely budging due to the recently cold weather freezing the soil, and Hyejoo pouted. 

 

“It's too cold, Yerimmie,” she grumbled and huffed out a breath, the air condensing and forming a cloud of mist in front of her face which Chaewon tried to catch with her own mittened hands much to Hyejoo's amusement who smirked at her. Their noses were red from the brisk winds that blew and Chaewon could feel that she was coming down with the sniffles as she squeezed her eyes and sneezed. 

 

Hyejoo's other hand- which was holding a wooden jewellery box, its waxened surface glistening brightly under the Sun- tightened its hold as she remarked, “Maybe we should head back in. At this rate, we'll all come down with a cold.” She was looking pointedly at Chaewon who shook her head. 

 

“What? No, no. I'm fine, Hye!” she hurriedly said but Yerim was already standing up and dusting the nonexistent dirt from her knees. 

 

“Hye's right. We don't want you getting sick, Wonnie.”

 

Chaewon squeezed their hands tightly, making them look at her. 

 

“I said I'm fineee. Let's do this quickly and drink the hot chocolate that your mummy made, Hye.”

 

They both sighed in reluctant agreement and moved to find another spot, trudging lazily while their eyes swept the whole area of the backyard. Their footsteps crunched through crisp leaves which had just dried up from the weather and it proved to be pretty distracting until Chaewon stooped down, slowing the other two who held her hand, and picked a particularly bright orange leaf, humming as she examined it before letting it flutter slowly to the ground once more and standing up to resume her place in between the younger girls. 

 

“Where did you even come up with this idea, Yerimmie?”

 

“I saw a movie about it,” she beamed at her and dipped her head once more to stare at a pile of crunchy leaves by her feet, reveling in the sounds that came after she stepped on them. “I thought we could do it too since it's pretty neat.”

 

Chaewon nodded and all fell silent once again, their young inquisitive minds focusing on the task at hand. However, she could feel that Hyejoo's hand was shaking from the cold and squeezed it to get her attention. 

 

“Hye, are you cold?” she ignored Hyejoo hesitantly shaking her head in denial and took off the girl's mitten, shoving them into her coat’s pocket, and cupped the girl's shaking hand before blowing softly on it, her cheeks puffing from the exertion. Hyejoo's cheeks were a bright rosy colour when Chaewon looked up to meet her eyes but she inferred that it was probably just from the cold and didn't think much about it. Yerim's eyes curiously swept over them and brightened when she saw what Chaewon was doing and proceeded to do the very same thing to Hyejoo's other hand. 

 

“Wonnie, Yerimmie, I'm not t-that cold,” Hyejoo squeezed her eyes shut from embarrassment, lips forming a cute pout that Chaewon's heart leapt at the sight of, as she half-heartedly tried to pull her hands away from the other two. 

 

“Hye, you're turning red. Why's that?” Chaewon jokingly asked and reached up to poke her cheek. 

 

“W-what?? Your cheeks are kinda red, too!” 

 

Chaewon decided to drop it and carefully put on Hyejoo's mittens for her once again before trudging off on her own, clearly determined to finish and head in as quickly as possible because the winds had turned from gentle to harsh in the short amount of time they'd been outside. 

 

“What about beneath this tree?” she pointed at the young spry tree which was bare and empty of leaves, its spindly branches reaching out towards the vast sky. 

 

“Oo sounds like a plan!” Yerim rushed forward, clearly the most enthusiastic of the bunch, and crouched at the base. “Give me the stick, Hye.”

 

Yerim poked around and found that the ground budged much easier compared to the spots they've tried before and she brightened at the prospect of its potential. She uncovered a small shovel from her coat pocket and started digging vigorously while the other two watched in amusement as she got all the work done, shaking her head whenever they asked if she needed help with a quick chirp, "I can do this! No worries."

 

After having dug a sizeable hole, she took a few deep breaths to compose herself and turned to Hyejoo, “Box, please.”

 

Hyejoo then passed it to her, plopping it down in her outstretched hand. Yerim wasted no time and placed it down carefully in the ground before standing up to resume her position with the other two, squeezing herself in between and slipping her hands in theirs. The three stared ominously at the box, with the wind whipping their hair about, and they didn't know what they were waiting for, to be quite frank. 

 

Chaewon glanced at the younger girls and cleared her throat, snapping Hyejoo and Yerim out of their reverie, “Er, so. What now?”

 

“Last words,” Yerim quipped which made the other two raise their eyebrows. "I saw this in the movie too."

 

She took a deep breath before letting it go in one long sigh and spoke in a mock deep monotonous voice-

 

“Here lies Mr. Wooden Box. May he rest in peace.” 

 

-that made Chaewon and Hyejoo laugh and jokingly nudge her to be serious. 

 

“Okayyy. I'll just start by saying thank you to my best friends in the whole world-” Chaewon and Hyejoo ‘aww-ed’ at that, “-and I hope that we'll stay like that for the next ten, twenty or hundred years!”

 

Squeezing their hands, she added one last part almost as if remembering another line or idea from the so-called movie in question, “Gentle reminder to not open the box until we're at least twenty years old. Or at least that's what they did in the movie.”

 

"Aye, aye, captain!" Hyejoo and Chaewon said in unison and Yerim wore a proud smile while beckoning for them to continue with a wave of her hand. Chaewon shook her head and shot a sly smile at Hyejoo, "Let's play rock, paper, scissors. Loser goes first."

 

"Alright. You're on," Hyejoo said determinedly. 

 

"Rock-" 

 

"Paper-" 

 

_"Scissors!"_

 

Chaewon squealed and stuck her tongue out at a pouty and grumpy Hyejoo, "Rock beats scissors, Hye."

 

Hyejoo sighed and straightened her shoulders.

 

"Okay, so. Um…this seems dumb," she muttered which earned her a disapproving grunt from Chaewon so she backtracked, sighing again in contemplation. 

 

"I still think this is dumb but here goes. I love you girls a lot-" 

 

"Aw, Hye-" 

 

"I'm still talking," she shot them a glare which effectively clamped their mouths shut.

 

"And I hope that we stay together forever," she pulled them into a tight bear hug, her previous hostility nowhere to be seen, and encircled her arms around them which elicited soft giggles from them. When Hyejoo pulled away, the sentimentality faded just as quickly as it had appeared and she shifted from foot to foot, not looking either of them in the eyes, and Chaewon felt the need to tease her again. 

 

"You're such a huge softie, Hye," she spoke in her usual light, tinkling tone and pinched her cheeks but pulled away when Hyejoo growled lowly and tried to bite her fingers. 

 

"It's your turn, Wonnie," Hyejoo huffed, her eyes still locked threateningly on Chaewon's fingers. 

 

Chaewon stopped her teasing and dropped her hands to her side, squeezing her eyes shut. For whatever reason, she was feeling rather nervous and her body subtly shook. Though the matter seemed small and merely harmless fun to the younger girls, her small unwavering heart knew that it was going to be important in the future. 

 

_Why do I feel like crying?_

 

"I-" she stopped, averted her gaze and felt the familiar burn in her eyes. Despite herself, she felt the tips of her ears turn red and her already flushed cheeks become even more prominent due to her embarrassment and she turned her body sideways, cupping her cheeks so that they wouldn't notice. 

 

"Gimme a minute," she heard Hyejoo whisper and then a series of footsteps approached her followed by hands that pried her own from her face. 

 

"Are you okay?" Hyejoo whispered in concern. "You look like you wanna cry."

 

“Who says-”

 

Her sentence was cut short when she felt something cold drop on her face, so minuscule a touch that if she hadn't been so focused on how her cheeks were burning she wouldn't have felt it. Her jaw dropped open and, with sparkling eyes, she turned her eyes toward the skies and was met with a beautiful sight. 

 

Snowflakes were falling from above, in small and fluttery drifts, and some speckled her rose-tinted cheeks and got caught in her long lashes so that when she blinked they fell to her face in a dusting of sparkles. Instantaneously, her arms slowly rose, palms outwards, cupping the falling snow only to watch as it melted upon touching her skin. 

 

The younger girls had fallen silent too- preferring to revel in the beauty of it all as they slowly broke from their tight circle to capture more snow in their hands. Chaewon felt the corners of her mouth lift until she was showing her pearly whites in a toothy grin and she never felt more alive than she was in that very moment, the snow just highlighting everything- her friendship with two of the most important people in her life in all its splendour. 

 

She looked up then, her eyes locking with Hyejoo's who smiled brightly back at her. Time seemed to slow for Chaewon the more she stared at Hyejoo; her eyes completely enamoured by the younger girl- the sight of her ruffled bangs spilling out of the cute snow hat she wore that had wolf ears, the bright red scarf that was wrapped tightly around her neck with the ends tucked in her grey turtleneck sweater while her dark blue winter coat clung tightly to her petite frame. Hyejoo's eyes crinkled and before Chaewon knew it the other girl was running at her full speed and picked her up to twirl the both of them around in a bout of squeals and peals of laughter. 

 

"Oh my gosh, Wonnie. I can't believe it's snowing!"

 

She lightly set Chaewon down after several moments, still holding her in a warm embrace, and strained her neck as she stared at the high heavens. 

 

"It's beautiful."

 

Chaewon stared at Hyejoo; at the rosy tint colouring her soft cheeks, at her long lashes that fluttered as more snow fell on them, at the pure, innocent sparkle in her eyes, and breathed out, her eyes never straying from the unsuspecting girl, 

 

"Yeah. It really is."

 

Hyejoo hummed and looked back at her, mouth lifting up slightly at the corners. She was about to say something but they're both startled by Yerim's haggard appearance at their sides and looked down at the ever-growing pile of snow in her palms. 

 

"Lookit this! Anyway, I think we should fill the hole before the snow covers it up completely."

 

"Ah, right." Chaewon stepped out of the embrace awkwardly and rushed over to the base of the tree, scooping up the upturned dirt in her hands and throwing it back in, the sound of the dirt hitting the wooden box making a small thump. 

 

She dared to steal a glance over her shoulder and felt her heart jolt slightly from the look of longing donning Hyejoo's features and excused the quickened pace in which she filled the hole up to be from fear of getting a cold and not from the adrenaline rush pumping through her system just from the implications of that look. 

 

Once done, she dared to stand, brushed the dirt off of her knees, and spun on her heel with a forced smile on her face and an equal amount of strained enthusiasm, 

 

"Time for hot chocolate!" 

 

-

 

Chaewon decided that there couldn't possibly be a better way to spend a cold winter's day other than snuggling with her two best friends on a couch filled with soft throw pillows under a large warm blanket while cradling a giant mug of hot chocolate topped with colourful marshmallows and watching reruns of Spongebob Squarepants. Her posture was lazy as she leant her entire body weight on Yerim's for support while her legs were thrown over Hyejoo's who sat on the other side humming to herself while fiddling with Chaewon's socked feet. 

 

After a while, Chaewon then started to daydream, no longer focusing on the cartoon. She could vaguely make out the sounds of pots and pans banging in the kitchen as Mrs Son prepared for dinner, humming along to a foreign tune from a small radio that they kept on the countertop. 

 

Everything just seemed so serene and peaceful. 

 

Her eyes drifted to the windows that overlooked the front lawn to show that what was initially the soft beginnings of a snowfall had turned to a steady downward stream of a white curtain; and as she lazily allowed it to be the only thing that kept her focus, she felt her eyelids droop and thus succumbed to sleep. 

 

-

 

_Flashing lights._

 

_A sign that was lit up with the bold words "Emergency Room" in which she knew her dad was behind of._

 

_Her ears abuzz with loud noises as people rushed about with purpose coupled with the loud sobs coming from her mother._

 

_Then, a man with blue scrubs stepping out of the room after what seemed like forever._

 

_Chaewon remembered being in awe of how bright the colour red could be._

 

-

 

Her eyes slowly opened of its own accord and she squinted, disoriented, as she found herself back on the couch in Hyejoo's living room. A hand was gently clasping hers and when she looked down she saw that it was Hyejoo's, unsurprisingly. She moved to look upward and saw Yerim's sleeping inches from hers, her angelic features highlighted even more with the light of the slowly setting sun spilling from the windows. 

 

That dream again. 

 

Chaewon sighed and rubbed her eyes slowly, only then noticing the tears that slipped out unnoticed and left a stream of wetness down her cheeks. Carefully using the neck of her shirt to wipe her face dry of any tears, she slowly disentangled herself from the two sleeping girls and padded across the living room to the kitchen where she found Mrs Son sitting on one of the bar stools by the countertop nursing a cup of what Chaewon assumed to be coffee. 

 

"Ah, you're awake, sweetie?" she took another sip and patted the stool next to her, beckoning to Chaewon. 

 

Chaewon nodded and didn't refuse Mrs Son's help on lifting her up and onto the stool that was taller than her. She yawned and Mrs Son smiled at her endearingly before that smile quickly slipped off as she noticed the girl's puffy eyes and damp cheeks. 

 

"Is something the matter?" Mrs Son asked quietly and used her thumbs to wipe off any excess tears that were still on Chaewon's cheeks before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

 

Chaewon shook her head, "It's nothing…" 

 

Mrs Son didn't say anything but instead reached for something behind Chaewon and brought into sight a plate of brownies that Chaewon hadn't noticed beforehand. 

 

"Have one. I was waiting for these to chill before serving them to you girls but found that you were all fast asleep." She smiled. "Hyejoo told me about you girls burying something in the backyard. Hm, children seem to come up with the funniest ideas, don't you think?" 

 

Chaewon chose a brownie on top of the pile and munched on it, eyes widening at the chocolatey taste that overwhelmed her tastebuds, and swallowed quickly before answering. 

 

"It was Yerim's idea, Mrs Son." She wiped at her mouth and gave a thumbs up to Mrs Son, "Yummy." 

 

"I'm glad you like it," she smiled warmly at the girl, "Anyway, what is this brilliant idea Yerim's come up with? I'd love to know more."

 

"She saw it in a movie. Um," Chaewon put up five fingers and started counting down on them. 

 

"Step one, a box. Then, we keep something precious in it and a letter to our future selves, too. Step three, dig a hole. Bury it. Ah…"

 

She tried to remember the last step that Yerim had told her, scratching her chin, before clapping her hands. 

 

"We can only open it when we're twenty!" 

 

Mrs Son ruffled her hair adoringly and pinched her cheeks. "That is a lot of things to remember. I'm proud of you, honey. As a reward, have another brownie."

 

Chaewon wasted no time in devouring another of the chocolatey goodness and felt the dream that she'd just had slip from her mind slowly as she occupied herself with the light banter she was having with Mrs Son. Soon, the topic turned to one that involved the three girls. 

 

"I'm glad all three of you are friends, Chaewon. Hyejoo's always been a very shy girl so I'm grateful that she has you and Yerim to help open up." 

 

"I'm glad, too." She looked down at her hands. "They make me happy."

 

Chaewon sighed and looked at the various magnets and pictures on their fridge, not wanting to elaborate further. Lucky for her, Mrs Son didn't push any further and instead clasped her hands, making her look back. 

 

"Honey, I want you to know that you are always welcome here and that you're family, too. If you're ever having a bit of a tough time, you can always drop by. Do you understand?" 

 

Chaewon wasn't sure where all that had come from but wordlessly nodded nonetheless. Mrs Son smiled and pulled her into an embrace which Chaewon melted into- it wasn't quite like the hugs her mother gave, but it was still comforting. 

 

Pulling back, Mrs Son looked her up and down, muttering, "You lovely, little thing…why don't you go and wake the two girls up? It's almost time for dinner."

 

Chaewon nodded and Mrs Son once again held her firmly under the arms before lifting her up from the stool and placing her on the ground, giving her another pat on the head. Chaewon made her way back to the living room but just after passing the threshold of the kitchen, she felt a hand lightly tug her to the side.

 

She gasped in shock before realising who it was, letting out a breath of relief.

 

"Yerimmie, you scared me-"

 

Chaewon let out another yelp when Yerim tackled her with a tight hug and buried her face in the crook of her neck. "What's w-wrong, Yerimmie?" 

 

She felt the younger girl tremble against her and sniffled audibly, her heart wrenching at the sound. "Are you okay?" 

 

Yerim shook her head, "D-do you have bad dreams?" 

 

Chaewon's breath caught but she nodded solemnly in response. 

 

"All the time."

 

Yerim quickly let her go and stepped back, furiously rubbing at her eyes. "Sorry."

 

The sight of Yerim having a possible breakdown worried Chaewon immensely and she took a step forward, holding onto the younger girl's hands, "It's fine. Do you wanna talk?" 

 

Yerim looked at her for several moments, her composure seeming to thin with each passing second, before she completely broke down in sobs- which threw Chaewon off guard because this was Yerim, the brightest, happiest ball of sunshine that everyone loved. 

 

However, in that moment she was anything but. 

 

Chaewon quickly led her to an adjacent room that was fortunately empty. It looked to be some sort of office- presumably Mr Son's- and she sat the both of them down on a leather sofa. As soon as they were sitting, Yerim curled up in a ball against Chaewon, arms loosely wrapping themselves around her tiny waist, and spluttered, 

 

"I dreamt of them a-again. They were fighting…and I was hiding in the closet…dark...so SO dark…" 

 

Chaewon didn't bother inquiring who 'they' could be and instead frowned and pulled her tightly against her, this time not letting her go as easily. 

 

"It was just a dream, Yerimmie. It's just a dream," she firmly repeated when Yerim shook her head. 

 

"You're here now. It's in the past."

 

The words came out quick in clipped sentences with no thought behind it; and as Chaewon cried along with Yerim she wondered whether she was trying to convince herself too. 

 

They held onto each other for as long as they could before Hyejoo found them almost an hour later- in the dark, still hugging each other even when exhaustion pulled them deep into slumber. 

 

Hyejoo didn't miss the dried up tears on both of their cheeks. 

 

She certainly didn't miss the way the both of them seemed to force a smile onto their faces whenever they talked. 

 

But she still tried her best to distract them from whatever was bothering them. 

 

Hand holding and hugs are what she's known for, anyway. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while since I've updated and honestly all I have to say is writer's block...lit rally a nightmare luv. Anyway, this story seems like it's becoming pretty draggy and I've even contemplated on whether I should just drop this fic entirely 😔 But for now, it's still here I guess.
> 
> I just came from the Choerry bday vlive and phew loona are a mess, huh? 
> 
> That being said, Happy Choerry Day everyone! 💜
> 
> Please leave a comment 🥺 I just need to know whether what I'm writing here is worthwhile

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Micah 💕 I hope that this story helps you feel better!
> 
>  
> 
> My user is @yermhyewon on twt if you want to interact with me~


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